


Trust

by Lunateller



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: :), Angst, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is a Good Friend, But he's good too, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders is Extra, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders is a Sweetheart, Deceit Sanders Acts Like a Snake, Deceit Sanders Needs a Hug, Deceit Sanders is a Sweetheart, Deceit has Trust Issues, Deceit is in denial, Deceit needs warmth, Disaster Gays, Everyone Is Gay, Everyone Needs A Hug, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Good Deceit Sanders, He struggles a bit but he's good, Just a lil weird and typical trash man things, Logic | Logan Sanders Is A Good Friend, Lots of fluff when we get there, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Morality | Patton Sanders is a Good Friend, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Remus might show up, Roman is very warm, Soft Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit Sanders, Starvation, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, They're cute, They're still a mess though, eventually, i dont know yet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:47:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22874230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunateller/pseuds/Lunateller
Summary: Deceit is no longer accepted by the dark sides and he is literally cast out; his room physically shifts to a new location. Unfortunately, this also means that Deceit has been cut off from two things he desperately needs to survive: food and warmth. To survive, he steals food from the light sides, and gets caught by Roman, who is actually more concerned than angry.Shenanigans ensue, fight me this is the best summary I can give with tired brain lol
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit Sanders
Comments: 33
Kudos: 180





	1. Chapter 1

Deceit wasn’t exactly sure when it had started, but he was painfully aware that he was no longer welcome among the dark sides anymore. Which, ultimately meant that he didn’t belong anywhere, because it wasn’t like the light sides wanted him around either. Somehow, his room had even shifted so that it resided somewhere in between the dark sides home and the light sides. Unfortunately that also meant that he was cut off from necessary supplies, such as food. In Deceit’s case, he was also cut off from something else he desperately needed as someone who was part snake: warmth. Deceit despised the cold, and he hated being cold even more. It made his thoughts run sluggish and slow and sapped the energy and strength from his body. 

Which is why Deceit found himself sneaking into the Mind Palace where the light sides resided. He was certain to find food there, as he knew Patton cooked for them all the time. Not to mention, it was always pleasantly warm inside the Mind Palace. When he entered it, Deceit almost couldn’t stop himself from sighing in pure pleasure at the warmth that greeted him before heading silently to the kitchen. He hoped that, due to it being three am, he wouldn’t run into any of the sides that lived here. He knew Virgil had a pesky habit of staying up late, but most nights he too, was usually asleep by three. 

Even still, Deceit peeked his head into the kitchen carefully to check for any movement. When he saw none, he silently made his way to the fridge, and opened it. Without thinking too much about it, Deceit started shoving food into the large pocket of his oversized hoodie, that he had worn specifically for this purpose, as quickly as he could. 

“I thought I heard a rat skittering around down here. Oh, or should I say a snake?” Deceit whirled around at the teasing-sounding voice, too surprised to even hide his sudden panic at being caught. He barely even caught a glimpse of Roman’s surprised reaction as he was already sinking out and retreating back to his room. One upside of his room moving, Deceit supposed, was that it was unlikely that any of the sides would find him here. He sighed heavily and started shoving his stolen food into a small fridge he conjured so that none of it would go bad. He noticed that a few of the things he grabbed were in reusable containers, and with a scowl, he silently admitted to himself that he already knew he was going to attempt to return them, eventually.

But for now, Deceit shivered and made his way to his bed and got under his impressive collection of blankets, hoping for them to provide some semblance of warmth compared to the dreadfully cold room around him. For once, he allowed himself to wish that his host accepted him just enough to at least have a warm room. He didn’t allow himself to think that often, because he knew he’d always end up disappointed, but the need for warmth was extremely vital to Deceit. 

Deceit wasn’t actually sure if the sides could die from starvation or freezing. The only way he knew a side could die was if their core was destroyed. Maybe he would just discorporate and regenerate anytime he starved too long or got far too cold. EIther option sounded like hell and something he’d rather not deal with. Only problem was that he hardly had a choice. It wasn’t like his room would warm up anytime soon, so he would always have to combat the cold. It wasn’t like the food he stole would last him forever, and it would get harder to steal food the more he did it. 

Deceit hated everything about this. Sure, he was the embodiment of deception in Thomas, but he was also self-preservation. His job was to protect his host from the things he didn’t want to know. His job was to protect his ego, his hopes, his dreams. Even so, he was treated like the bad guy, like he was evil and working against them instead of with them simply because he was known as Deceit. Did he go along with that portrayal of himself sometimes? Absolutely, but only because it spoke volumes of their hatred of him when he started off as a so called dark side from the very beginning. 

He sighed heavily to himself, and burrowed further under his blankets to soak up as much warmth as possible, not that there was much to begin with. There was no use getting angry about it all now, Deceit supposed, though it didn’t really help his mood. This was the hand he had been dealt, and now Deceit just had to learn to survive with it and accept it, no matter what that entailed. Didn’t mean he had to like it though.

For the next few months, Deceit only continued to hate his predicament even more. He was rationing out the last of his food by now, and he hated how little he had left. Maybe it was his imagination, but Deceit believed it was getting even colder in his room as time passed. He could hardly get out of bed anymore, and the constant cold made him feel sick and irritable. 

So of course, he only needed one final push to truly being spiteful about everything that was happening, and that final push came in the form of the trial. Not one of them could listen or understand the point of what was trying to be said or accomplished! It was honestly a miracle that group got anything done at all! The only good thing about the trial was that Deceit had been warm again, free of his freezing room. He hated going back to it, and when he did, it had felt like he was rising up into a block of pure ice. He had instantly felt sick all over again. 

When his food finally ran out weeks later, Deceit didn’t bother to be sneaky when he returned the containers. He simply rose up in the middle of the kitchen, and as he was being yelled at by four confused and surprised sides, he wordlessly threw the containers onto the counter, resulting is a loud clattering that shut everyone up, and returned to his room. He curled up under his blankets and decided that if he could starve to death, or discorporate from lack of food, so be it. 

The next time Deceit bothered to move was nearly a month later when he felt like someone was trying to summon him. He didn’t know why they wanted him around, but if he could warm up for a bit, he supposed he could go hear them out. However, as soon as he stood up, Deceit toppled over and fell to the floor. Guess a lack of food did make him weak and probably even sicker than he had been before, Deceit thought bitterly as his vision faded out. 

\-----------------------------

Roman knew there was something off about Deceit ever since he had caught him stealing food months ago. The pure panic on his face when he had been caught had thrown Roman off for days; the dark sides, especially calm and collected Deceit, didn’t need to steal food, much less be that terrified of being caught. Roman’s concern for the side only continued to grow during the trial. At first, the side had seemed fine, almost happy even, for reasons Roman couldn’t have known. Sure, he had been a little paler than normal, but Roman had ignored that in favor of playing along if it meant Deceit acted normally again. 

When Deceit had shown back up in the kitchen in the middle of the day, wordlessly throwing the containers that had held the stolen food onto the counter and not even pausing to look at another side much less argue with them, Roman knew something had happened. Not to mention that he was even paler than he had been at the trial. Roman wasn’t quite sure why he cared, but he did. Which is why the next time he had the chance to, he convinced Thomas to allow him to summon Deceit for his point of view. However, when Deceit refused to show up, even when the other sides and Thomas attempted to summon him, he knew something was terribly wrong. 

“Well, this is unusual.” Logan commented once they had all returned to the Mind Palace. “One would assume that a side like Deceit would take every opportunity to show up and give his input. Why would he not for this instance as well?”

“Who cares? It’s Deceit! Why would we need him anyways?” Virgil glowered at Roman from his spot sitting on the counter while Patton started pulling stuff out to bake behind him. “We can solve things on our own, we don’t need any dark side to come in and ruin it.” 

“What if Roman is right and there is something wrong with him though?” Patton asked, glancing at Roman, and Roman realized he was only trying to be supportive of him, not that he actually cared about the other side. “Shouldn’t we at least go look, if only to reassure Roman that everything is fine?” 

“What, you want us to all waltz into the dark sides territory and go and be all ‘Hey Deceit, you okay?’ as if he were our friend? He has done nothing but lie to and manipulate us time and time again!” Virgil complained. 

“You’re wrong.” Roman spoke up. “Besides, there’s something up with Deceit. Remember when he showed up in the kitchen? A few months before that is when he stole those containers with food. Now, I don’t know much about the dark sides, but I really doubt they need to steal food. The way Deceit was acting? Like he knew he was gonna need it, and that he was almost desperate to get it. He didn’t even steal that much, but from what I gathered from that, is he made what little he stole last months, much longer than it should have. Now, I don’t know for sure what that means, but I do know that something isn’t quite right here, so I absolutely will, as you put it, waltz right into the dark sides territory in order to get answers.”

Virgil frowned as if he was thinking, trying to put the pieces together in a way that fit. Roman’s stomach dropped when Virgil’s face darkened, like he had reached a conclusion he hadn’t wanted to. Like the conclusion he had reached meant that Roman was right and something was very wrong with Deceit. 

“I… I don’t think that Deceit’s room is going to be with the other dark sides rooms. If I’m right and if his room has been where I think it is for months, Deceit could be in serious trouble. Especially because it’s Deceit.” Virgil bit his lip. “Roman, I’ll take you there. Patton, can you make some soup? Something that will be light on the stomach but still have plenty of nutrients?” Patton nodded and hurried around the kitchen to add to the ingredients he had already pulled out for whatever he had planned on baking. 

“Are you saying that you believe Deceit is not eating? That is indeed serious, but how did you come to that conclusion?” Logan questioned Virgil while frowning slightly.

“Later. Come on, Ro.” Virgil demanded as he jumped down from the counter and grabbed Roman’s arm and sunk them both down. When they rose up in Deceit’s room, Roman couldn’t help but shiver. It was absolutely freezing, and when Roman finally looked around the room, he felt his blood run cold for a very different reason. 

“Deceit!” He called as he rushed up to the unconscious side. He didn’t react at all, even when Roman picked him up from his spot on the freezing ground. He felt like ice to the touch, and wouldn’t stop shivering, even as he unconsciously clung tighter to Roman, who was now his sole source of heat.

“Let’s get him to your room, Roman. It’s the warmest room out of all of ours so it should help.” Roman could only nod at Virgil’s suggestion as they both sunk out. As soon as they rose up in Roman’s room, Deceit seemed to melt and relax at the sudden warmth, and Roman could only think about how light Deceit felt. Even being as short as he was, Roman felt as though he should have been much heavier. 

Roman bit his lip and set Deceit lightly on his bed, and summoned a few heavy blankets to drape over the smaller side. He made sure that Deceit was completely covered by them as well, so he could be as warm as possible. As Roman sat down in a chair next to his bed, Patton walked in carrying a little soup container, meant to keep it hot for longer periods of time. 

“Virgil explained what happened. He said he’d tell you everything in a bit, when you’re more relaxed and not so worried anymore. I uh, I brought soup for when he wakes up.” Patton handed the soup container and a small spoon to Roman, who smiled and placed it onto the nightstand. 

“Thanks Pat. Tell Virgil I said thanks to him as well. I know he doesn’t like Deceit, like, at all, but he still helped him.” Roman commented, and looked over when Deceit shifted, and smiled softly as he watched his head disappear under the covers as well. Roman noticed from the corner of his eye that Patton hesitated at the door for a few moments, before pulling a small frown and leaving, closing the door with a soft click behind him. 

\-----------------------------

Deceit hummed softly in heavy contentment. He was so pleasantly warm on all sides, which was a monumental relief in comparison to the cold he’d been suffering in for so long. Without thinking too much about it, Deceit snuggled in closer to the warmest heat source next to him, and subsequently froze when that heat source muttered soft reasurrances in his ear. His eyes snapped open to meet Roman’s bleary and half asleep ones.

“Roman? What is this?” Deceit hissed, looking around and realizing he was in the creative side’s room, as he tried his best to sound angry and intimidating. Instead his voice came out as a soft, comfortable murmur. Roman gave a tired unintelligible muttered response, and upon Deceit’s face morphing into one of confusion, he sighed heavily.

Roman rolled over and clumsily fumbled with an object in the dark before flopping back over and shoving it at Deceit’s face, with a quiet murmur of “Be careful. Too fast and you’ll be sick, but,” he yawned softly before continuing, “tha’s for you.” He slurred as he promptly fell back into a light sleep. Deceit had to wonder how long Roman had been up for him to be too exhausted to give him a better explanation, especially an over the top one considering it was Roman, but he looked at the object in his hands instead. Pulling off the lid, Deceit almost melted at the smell of warm soup, but instead of picking up the spoon that was attached to the side, he stared at Roman incredulously. 

“I don’t understand.” He told the sleeping form next to him, who only responded by snuggling closer to Deceit and whispering something along the lines of “warm up” but Deceit couldn’t be sure. Resealing the soup container, he quietly slipped out of bed, ignoring the mumbled complaints from a certain prince, and peeked his head outside of Roman’s room cautiously. The dark hallways of the Mind Palace greeted him, and he slowly shuffled carefully away from Roman’s room, looking for any explanation as to why he was here.

“You should still be resting, Deceit. Especially seeing as it appears you have not eaten that soup yet. You should do so promptly to help your body regain its essential nutrients and therefore boosting your immune system and body strength back up to optimal levels.” Deceit whirled around at Logan’s calm and collected voice behind him. 

“How did I get here and why? I don’t see why you’re all doing this.” Deceit eyed the logical side warily as he seemed to frown at Deceit’s response. With a small, resigned sigh, Logan adjusted his glasses and allowed the tension in his shoulders to drain. He looked more exhausted than Deceit had ever seen him.

“I know we haven’t been friendly with one another in past encounters, but you are still a fellow side. Roman had noticed something was off with you, and was further convinced when you did not show up when he attempted to summon you. Whilst explaining his concerns and where they originated from to the rest of us, Virgil somehow put it together that you were no longer a ‘dark side’, so to speak, and was concerned that you had also been cut off from food and heat, had your room moved as he had suspected. He turned out to be correct. He and Roman found you unconscious in your room, and Roman brought you to his room, where he has been keeping watch over you since.” Logan explained, a hint of the exhaustion he displayed in his body language hidden in his voice. 

“So… this is really okay for me to eat?” Deceit muttered softly and held up the soup container. Logan nodded once in affirmation, and Deceit allowed a small smile to pull at his lips. “Would you uh, consider keeping me company downstairs while I eat this then? Roman is asleep now, and… he seems really out of it. I’d hate to bother him after he helped me.” Deceit admitted quietly, staring at the floor as he awkwardly shuffled his feet. 

“Of course I can accompany you.” Logan offered a small smile to Deceit, who slowly returned it. Then they both turned and headed towards the stairs. Deceit noticed that Logan seemed to be keeping a close eye on his movements, no doubt noticing how much slower and carefully he walked compared to his normal confident stride. Once they actually started going down the stairs and Deceit missed a step by accident, Logan wasted no time in catching him and steadying him again, giving a look of concern that Deceit quickly waved off. Despite waving him off, however, Logan continued to act as a brace for Deceit to lean on, to prevent it from happening again. 

Logan ended up not letting Deceit go again until he was safely settled on the couch. While Logan turned the tv on and scrolled through the options silently, Deceit finally turned his full attention to the soup container. Opening it up again, he hummed appreciatively at the light, warm scent of the contents, before grabbing the spoon and taking the first bite. Deceit could have melted right then and there.

“Up until now, I never would have expected to enjoy soup this much but wow, that is good,” Deceit commented softly to himself as he took another bite and sighed happily. He had to remind himself of Roman’s tired warning of not eating it too fast almost constantly, because Deceit could not get enough of it. He was almost disappointed when there was no more left, but he supposed it was for the best as he could already feel his stomach rolling uncomfortably. 

Glancing over, he saw that Logan was giving him another small smile, only for them both to be startled by the loud crash that resounded through the area, followed quickly by hurried panicked footsteps. Virgil was the first to throw open his door as he looked wildly around, eyeshadow dark and prominent on his face. Patton scrambled out next, looking startled and highly concerned as he attempted to straighten the glasses that sat askew on his face as he looked around quickly, searching for the cause of the disturbance. Finally, Roman, who’s room had been the source of the noise, burst out of his room, door swinging wildly behind him as he pushed past the other sides, calling for Logan. 

“LOGAN, DEE IS MISSING HE ISN’T I-” Roman stopped dead in his tracks when he finally made it downstairs to the living area, and he visibly slumped over in relief when he caught sight of Deceit. Deceit merely blinked at him, having absolutely no idea what to even say in the situation he was now presented with. 

“Er,” he stammered and bit his lip nervously. “For one, I am definitely missing, Roman, wonderful observation skills.” Deceit snarked, smirking widely at the flustered creative side. “Two; Dee?” He questioned, raising an eyebrow curiously at Roman. 

“Don’t tease me,” Roman practically whined, exhaustion lacing his voice again as his false panic faded. “I looked over and you were gone. What was I supposed to think? Also, yeah, Dee.” Roman huffed, giving no extra explanation as he plopped down on the couch next to Deceit. 

“Oh hey, kiddo. Did you like the soup? I made it special for you, and there’s plenty more that we can reheat when you’re ready for it.” Patton commented cheerily as he came downstairs, situating himself next to Logan. Virgil was not far behind, grumbling about being woken up even as he sat on his chair and curled up on it, summoning a blanket to wrap around himself. 

“Uh, yeah, Patton. The soup was great. Thank you.” Deceit replied haltingly, watching the moral side warily even as he brightened up and offered a beaming smile at his response. Logan watched the exchange with a careful eye, but pretended to be focused on the muted documentary looking show that was playing on the tv. 

“That’s good. I’m glad you ate and that you liked it.” Roman commented, then bit his lip. Deceit realized he had been leaning closer towards him and was nearly leaning on him by now. “Are you cold?” Roman questioned, noticing his behavior. Deceit straightened up almost instantly, ignoring the expressions of the other sides as he stared stubbornly at the tv. 

“Absolutely not.” Deceit huffed with a small frown, ignoring the way he heard Roman burst into small chuckles at his response. Without a single word, Roman snuggled up closer to the snake-like side and summoned a thick blanket that he wrapped around the both of them. 

Deceit would never admit that he liked this arrangement very much. 

At least, he would never admit it out loud; not yet anyway.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman has a big crush and Deceit is in denial but he does too. They are disasters, I love them

Deceit shivered under the thick blankets, and whined softly as he slowly blinked open his eyes. It was morning, and he was alone on the couch, a thick red blanket tucked around him, but it was freezing compared to what Deceit truly wanted. With a long, tired sigh, he stood up and snapped himself into warmer, more comfy clothes. He peeked his head into the kitchen and was pleased to see Patton there, cooking what appeared to be chocolate chip pancakes. Deceit had no idea if his stomach could handle such heavy food yet, but he intended to find out, especially because said pancakes smelled absolutely heavenly.

As soon as Patton turned his back, Deceit snuck in and filched a warm pancake from the top of the stack next to the pan where more were being cooked. Quickly, he left before Patton spotted him, and took his stolen food to the couch, where he sat and slowly nibbled at it. It was pleasantly warm and perfectly fluffy, and the chocolate chips tasted rich and gooey and they had melted into the pancake perfectly. It tasted like heaven, and Dee melted into the couch in delight at the taste. It had been too long since he had such wonderful food and he gratefully appreciated being here right now to experience what he was now sure was a literally perfect pancake. 

Deceit thoroughly enjoyed his stolen pancake. 

Until his stomach decided that it didn’t enjoy the pancake as much as he had. With a dramatic sigh, Deceit flopped backwards onto the couch and buried himself under the thick blanket once more. He felt the couch give as someone sat next to him. 

“What’s up with you?” He heard the unmistakably grumpy voice of Virgil. When Deceit stubbornly refused to reply, he heard an amused huff as he was shoved off the couch, blanket and all, falling with a loud thump and a muffled ‘oomph’ of surprise. He popped his head out of the top of his blanket burrito and pointedly glared at Virgil and ignored a chuckling Roman while he tried to keep his mind off of his rolling stomach, made even worse by the tumble off the couch.

Virgil smirked wickedly back at him, before standing up and heading to the kitchen. Roman, ever the knight in shining armor, picked Deceit up and plopped him back on the couch with a grin. Deceit grumbled and hid his face under the blanket to hide the small smile that graced his own features.

“Well good morning to the grumpy snake. Would you like me to grab you some breakfast?” Roman questioned him gently, and Deceit could see the hope in his eyes practically begging him to say yes. He bit his lip and thought about how he already felt uncomfortably full from just one pancake, but glancing back up at Roman, he sighed in defeat. He couldn’t outright say no to that face, after all. 

“Yeah, sure, but… not too much. I’m not really hungry.” Deceit admitted. Roman looked him over skeptically, like he didn’t know whether or not Deceit was lying, which he supposed was fair considering his track record. “I promise, Roman. If I were hungry, I’d tell you first.” The prince seemed to be pleased by that answer, and with a bright smile and a quick wave, he headed off towards the kitchen. 

“What is wrong with me?” Deceit muttered to himself when he realized his face was warm and his chest felt tight. “It’s nothing. Nothing at all. That’s a problem for future Deceit.” He quickly mumbled, chasing away stray thoughts he didn’t want to think about. His head snapped around when he heard footsteps coming down the stairs and was greeted by the sight of a now much more well-rested Logan. 

“Good morning, Dee.” Logan smiled at him as he adopted the nickname Roman had established for him the night before. Deceit still didn’t understand why Roman had adopted a nickname for him, but there was hardly anything he could do about it now. He sure as hell wasn’t going to admit out loud that he kinda liked it. “How are you feeling this morning?” Logan questioned as he sat in his spot on the couch. 

“I’m fantastic, thank you.” Deceit grumbled sarcastically, and burrowed back under the blanket when he felt Logan’s pointed look fall on him. He squirmed uncomfortably fow a few moments, but eventually grumbled and conceded to Logan’s unnerving stare. “Fine, fine. I feel better than I did but still pretty shitty.” He admitted quietly, and received a pleased hum in response. Cocky self assured bastard, Deceit thought with no real bite, just with the mild frustration that Logan could seemingly so easily get Deceit to speak up. 

“As to be expected at this stage. A few more days and you should start trying to eat heavier foods and eat more frequently, but for now, you should stick to occasional soup and not push it too much. The soup will help boost your immune and digestive systems quickly without shocking the latter too much after not eating in so long.” Logan commented as he picked up a book and opened it nonchalantly. 

“Yeah, I learned that the hard way. Tried to eat a pancake. It was really good but I don’t think my stomach appreciated the gesture all that much.” Deceit muttered in annoyance, but quickly shut his mouth as Roman reappeared, holding a small bowl, presumably filled with more soup. Logan watched on with a puzzled gaze as Deceit took the bowl from Roman, but Deceit quickly shook his head when he started to say something. Logan closed his mouth, but continued to watch Deceit closely with concern. 

As Patton set the table and handed out plates of food, Deceit stared down at his soup with a slight grimace. He knew he’d regret his inability to say no to Roman later, but for now, he really should try and eat some of the soup, if only to get the other sides to stop staring at him with the strangely worried expressions that seemed to land on him with unnerving frequency now. 

Slowly, as everyone else settled into their spots and started eating, Deceit managed to take a bite of his soup. His stomach immediately lurched in displeasure, but Deceit forced down two more bites before he pushed the still mostly full bowl away from him. The conversation at the table quickly dwindled as the other sides looked over at him, then at the bowl and back at him again. 

“Dee? You hardly ate any of it, are you feeling okay?” Roman called softly from beside him, placing a warm, gentle hand on his back and rubbing slight, soothing circles as well. Deceit instantly relaxed at the warmth and comfort that small action provided him, but didn’t let it show outwardly. 

“ _I am absolutely fantastic,_ ” he forced out instead, ignoring the nausea bubbling in his stomach. He knew he hadn’t fooled any of them, but he wasn’t going to offer any other explanations. He stared at the floor and ignored their gazes stubbornly. He didn’t see why they should care about him this much. He wasn’t a light side and he never would be, so their care and concern was just wasted on him. Eventually they would realize that Deceit was still Deceit, and they would go back to throwing him looks of disgust and contempt, and he’d have to go back to his freezing room and all of this would be for nothing in the end. How could he ever hope to expect anything different? 

“Dee? You’re shaking.” He heard the muffled voice of Virgil, but he only sank further into his blanket and hid his face. He screwed his eyes shut for good measure. He didn’t want to be here, he didn’t want to see the concern on their faces, especially not Virgil who he had once trusted and cared so much about before he had left without a word, without warning, without so much as a goodbye. He didn’t want to get attached again, to any of them, because he knew he’d just be left again. He was Deceit; he couldn’t be trusted and he couldn’t trust anyone else. 

He heard multiple muffled voices above him, but he couldn’t stop his spiraling thoughts now. He was trapped, and he knew, he just knew that he was going to end up alone in the dark, cold and hungry all over again. He dreaded the moment, but he knew it was inevitable because he was not a light side and not a dark side. He was an unwanted side, and that wasn’t going to change. 

“Dee!” Roman’s loud voice and a loud clap in front of his face snapped him sharply back to reality, and he harshly sucked in a stuttered breath. He heard Virgil start to count, and he immediately recognized it as the breathing exercise he used to calm down. Deceit struggled to match his breathing to the soothing counting, but eventually somehow managed to do it. He slumped forward, suddenly feeling very tired. He buried his face behind the blankets until not even a single hair on his head was visible from under his cocoon. He didn’t want to be here right now. There was only one place he wanted to be and he couldn’t possibly ask for it, and it would never be offered to him. 

“I’m okay. I’m sorry. I’m fine.” Deceit repeated over and over. He had to believe it. If he believed it, then it wasn’t a lie anymore. He was fine. He’d be fine when they all left him again. He was used to being alone. It was fine. He could handle it. Everything was fine. 

“Dee, please don’t lie to us. What’s going on?” Roman’s soft, concerned voice made Deceit want to cry. When he didn’t reply, he felt Roman’s hand start to rub soothing circles on his back again. He had never noticed when Roman had stopped doing it the first time. That still didn’t change the fact that he couldn’t get attached, would never let himself get attached to anyone like that ever again. 

“I’m tired and I don’t want to talk about it right now.” Deceit murmured, and sighed tiredly. He wanted to sleep for ten years. Preferably on a certain fluffy bed, in a warm room, and with- 

“Shut up, Deceit.” He snapped quietly at himself, and Roman paused in his soothing movements for a second, but didn’t question his outburst even though he was sure the rest of them had heard it. Not like it really mattered right now, not when Deceit was just so exhausted and wanted to pass out and escape all of this. 

“Dee, hey, can you look at me?” He heard Virgil ask soothingly from in front of him. He didn’t want to, but slowly he peeked his head out and looked at Virgil, who was kneeling on the floor, warily. 

“Will you tell us what’s going on later? I understand you need sleep now, but you can’t keep bottling up whatever it is that’s bothering you. You can trust us.” Deceit couldn’t help but snort harshly at that, making Virgil reel back with a confused expression. 

“I’m Deceit, Virgil.” He snarled darkly. “I’m not a light side, so whatever game you’re all playing you can stop. I know you can’t trust me, I am literally the embodiment of deception. How am I supposed to trust you all when you don’t trust me? Just because I’m weak and feel like shit right now doesn’t mean I’m magically one of you or part of your family. Just because I’m not a dark side doesn’t mean I can or will be all buddy buddy with the rest of you. You never should have helped me. Just because I’m no longer one of them, does not mean I am no longer Deceit, that I am different.” Deceit stood up and threw the blanket to the ground before turning and stalking off towards the Mind Palace’s exit. 

“Dee wait!” Roman’s voice called, and Deceit couldn’t help but freeze. He flinched in surprise when Roman hugged him from behind, effectively trapping him where he was. He hated this, he hated that he could never just say no to or ignore Roman. What was it about that stupid Prince that made Deceit feel so utterly helpless? 

“I trust you.” Roman murmured in his ear, cutting off his train of thought quite effectively. “I know that you aren’t different just because you aren’t a dark side anymore. That doesn’t matter to me. What matters to me is that you are okay. Please, just, let’s get you to bed. You need more rest. If you don’t want to talk about it, I’ll respect that, but please, don’t leave.” Roman tightened his hold on Deceit, like he needed Deceit to know that he really did want him to stay. Deceit hesitated, then he finally reached down and took Roman’s hands in his, and slowly turned to face him.

“...okay.” He agreed quietly, hesitantly almost, as if waiting for Roman to take what he had said back. Roman only beamed brightly at him, then led him back the way they had come. Catching the surprised looks of the other sides, Deceit averted his gaze, and sighed in relief when he saw that Roman was leading him towards the stairs, hands still intertwined. Deceit realized he was completely powerless when faced with Roman. A small part of his brain whispered why, but he quickly decided to ignore it. That was still future Deceit’s problem. Current Deceit just wanted sleep. 

“Since you don’t have a room here, you can sleep in mine. Plus, it’s the warmest room, so you’ll be more comfortable, right? Is there anything else you need or want before you sleep?” Roman asked gently as he lead Deceit into his room. Deceit bit his lip and shook his head. The one thing he wanted was something he didn’t think he could ever ask for, even though he was getting half of what he wanted already by some sheer dumb luck. 

Roman led Deceit to the bed, and made to let go of his hand. Deceit quickly held fast, not letting him go. Looking at the floor, he took a deep breath to steady himself. He needed to say something, anything, in return for everything Roman has done. He may not be “good”, but he knew when a thank you was in order, and Roman had certainly done more than enough to earn one. 

“Thank you, Roman. For everything. I mean it. I really do appreaciate everything you’ve done to help me.” Deceit murmured quietly, not meeting the prince’s eyes. Before he could even think about letting go of Roman’s hand, Roman had gathered him up in a hug again, and Deceit really could not stop the small sigh of satisfaction at the action as he hugged the creative side back gratefully.

“No need to thank me, Dee. You’re a side. It doesn’t matter about light or dark; you’re just as important as the rest of us. You’re important to Thomas. You’re important to the other sides. You’re important to me.” Roman told him seriously, and leaned back to level his gaze at Dee, so he could see how serious he was. Deceit smiled and nodded, accepting Roman’s words without hesitation. 

“Come on, now. Let’s go to bed.” Roman grinned as he pulled Deceit onto the bed after him, pulling the blankets up over them both. Deceit froze, and looked at Roman curiously. He only got a soft smile in return as Roman laid his head down on his pillow, with clearly no intention to leave. Deceit relaxed and laid down as well, and took a deep breath; he felt warm and safe, and he had gotten exactly what he had wanted without having to ask or lie or manipulate his way there. It was given to him naturally by Roman’s good nature; and that made it all the more better to Deceit.

It didn’t take very long until Dee fell asleep, more comfortable than he had ever been. 

\-----------------------------

Roman blinked his eyes open slowly. He was pleasantly warm and comfortable; he didn’t really want to wake up yet. He looked to his side, and saw Dee fast asleep, curled into Roman’s side with one arm draped gently over his chest. Roman couldn’t help but smile at the sight. Dee was never vulnerable or cuddly with anyone, and Roman felt like he was special to be able to see Dee so at peace for once. Not to mention that when he was asleep, the worried, anxious lines that had been etched into his face the past two days completely melted and he looked like one of the most beautiful people he’d ever seen, regardless of the fact that they shared a face. Roman supposed it was the scales; he didn’t know why but Dee’s scales just made him so much more attractive than any of the other sides. 

That was a thought he had always had and would always keep to himself, though. 

On an impulse, Roman reached out and ran a gentle hand over Dee’s scales, and found that they were smooth and cool to the touch. Dee shivered and leaned into Roman’s touch, still fast asleep. Roman smiled and did it again, and watched as Dee relaxed more and more as he continued to run his hand either over his scales or through his soft hair. Eventually, Dee yawned slightly, and cracked his eye open curiously. 

“Rom’n?” Dee mumbled, voice still soft and laced with sleep. 

“Hey, Dee.” Roman greeted softly with a smile. “How’d you sleep? Do you feel better?” Dee sighed softly and his eyes fluttered closed again. 

“Mhmm. Warm and comfy.” He whispered, about to fall asleep again. “I feel a lot better. Stomach still hurts though.” 

“Why does your stomach hurt, Dee? What’s wrong?” Roman’s voice was now impossibly soft with concern, and he ran a gentle, caring hand through Dee’s hair again, making his eyes blink open again slowly, staring up at Roman blearily, before speaking softly. 

“I, uh, kinda stole a pancake this morning while no one was up and Patton wasn’t looking. It smelled amazing and I just, I dunno, I wanted one even though I knew it wasn’t good for me yet. It was really, really good. My stomach doesn’t like it though.” Dee frowned, like he was upset at his stomach for not cooperating. Roman found it cute, even if he was concerned about what that meant. 

“I see. Be a little more patient. We’ll have you back on heavier foods soon, but not too quickly, okay? You should have told me before though; I’m sure that extra soup I brought you didn’t help. Anyways, do you wanna talk about what happened?” Roman asked softly. Dee immediately tensed, but then sighed heavily, almost in defeat, and nodded. 

“I guess.” Dee sat up and pointedly faced away from Roman, and drew his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms tightly around them. “I just, I don’t understand why you guys are acting like you care about me so much. I’m not a light side. I’ll never be good, and I’ll never be one of you. I’m still Deceit. I don’t think Patton is ever going to approve of me in any way. I think he’s just being nice for your sake. Sooner or later though… you’ll all realize that nothing has changed. The dark sides don’t accept me anymore, sure, but that doesn’t mean I’m still not technically one of them. Eventually, it’ll all just go back to the way it was and you’ll all leave me again and I’ll always be so, so cold and hungry and sick again.” Dee curled up even more, burying his head in his arms, and Roman hated how small he looked. “I’m just the unwanted side.” He whispered that last part shakily, and Roman could swear he felt his heart clench at the soft, bordering-on-broken voice. 

“Oh, Dee, no, that’s not true. At least, not for me. I can’t speak for the others, but I want you to stay. I do care about you, and I promise you’ll never have to be alone like that a second time. You will never have to be that cold or hungry ever again, I swear that to you. I won’t ever allow that to happen. Okay?” Roman swore firmly, and Dee peeked over his shoulder and seemed to study Roman’s face for a long while. 

“Really?” Dee’s voice was hesitant and unsure, like he couldn’t really bring himself to trust Roman’s words at face value. He bit his lip uncertainly and stared at Roman’s eyes, searching for any indication that Roman was lying, even though Roman knew that Dee could sense that naturally as he was basically the King of Lies. Whenever anyone lied, Dee just knew, he could feel the lie almost as if it were a physical sensation across his skin, or so Roman assumed. 

“Really.” Roman swore vehemently. “I promise. If you want, I can even talk to the others about this too. Even if they don’t feel the same, which I honestly doubt, that still would not change that fact that I will protect you now. You will never have to go through that again.” Roman smiled at Dee softly. “So come back here and stay warm, okay?” 

Dee hesitated only a moment longer before practically launching himself at Roman. Roman was surprised when the other snaked his arms around his neck and gave him one of the tightest hugs Roman had ever received. It was like Dee was desperate to show Roman just how much he appreciated his words, which was completely unexpected coming from the snake-like side. Not that Roman minded in the slightest; quite the contrary actually. 

“Thank you. Thank you, Roman. So, so, so much.” Dee whispered in Roman’s ear. “Also, you are very warm.” He chuckled at his shy admission, and Roman did as well, returning the hug just as tightly. 

“No need to thank me, Dee. Honestly. I’m just glad you’re alright. Well, getting there.” Roman murmured back to him soothingly, which resulted in a tighter hug and a soft hum of agreement. 

“Why… why do you care about me though?” Dee’s hesitant voice almost made Roman want to cry. He wondered who had made Dee feel so insecure and unworthy of care and concern even when he so clearly was. It didn’t really matter anymore though, Roman reasoned, because he would make sure he would never feel that way again. 

“Because you deserve it, Dee. You deserve just as much love and care as the rest of us do, no matter what anyone else says. You are just as important as us, and I care about you. I don’t have a specific reason, but that’s because I shouldn’t need one to deem you worthy of love and care and concern. You are already worthy of those things simply because you are here and you exist, just here, just you.” Roman stated, and pulled away just enough to look at Dee’s eyes. “You are enough exactly as you are. You are wanted exactly as you are. You are loved exactly as you are. Okay?” 

Dee didn’t seem to know how to reply to that. He stared at Roman with his mouth slightly open in a little ‘o’ and his eyes kept searching Roman’s. He looked totally and completely shocked and surprised. Roman wondered what was going on inside his head as he just started at Roman like he was the only thing in the room. Then his mouth twitched, and slowly slid into a sort of shy and pleased smile as he appeared to accept what Roman said, and gave him a small nod, and hugged Roman tight once more. 

“You always know what to say. How do you do that?” Dee chuckled softly, and the sound made a shiver roll down Roman’s spine. Roman smirked wickedly at the question though, and gave a long, dramatic sigh.

“Oh I suppose it’s just one of my many great talents as a prince! You know, with all the speeches and royal decrees we must give it is a skill I must have. Oh, the burdens of being such a wonderful prince such as I.” Roman intoned dramatically with a sarcastic undertone, and grinned widely as he heard Dee snort in amusement at his words. 

“Ah, yes, of course. I should have guessed that it was just a natural talent the wonderful and brave prince Roman would have! How silly of me to ask.” Dee replied with just as much sarcasm, finally pulling away and grinning at Roman. Roman practically melted; a genuine smile on Dee was almost too adorable and beautiful for him to process. 

Oh.

 _Oh._

Roman’s eyes widened when he realized what he had just thought to himself and what it meant. Now that he had, he couldn’t stop himself from admitting it to himself. Roman had a major crush on Deceit, and even though it had come out of nowhere, he didn’t mind it in the slightest. 

Roman grinned widely back at the boy in question; he knew Dee couldn’t possibly feel the same way about him, but that was not going to stop Roman from trying. 

It was time for Roman to romance the hell out of a boy, for better or for worse. 

God, he hoped it was for better. 

Time to try, at least.

\-----------------------------

Deceit was constantly being amazed by Roman. Now, though, with everything Roman had done for him and said to him, Deceit was surprised he wasn’t rendered completely speechless. That is, until he saw Roman’s expression morph into something impossibly soft, and he smiled so big at Deceit as if he had just come to a wonderful conclusion and Dee was at the very center of it all and Roman couldn’t be happier about it. It took effort to remind his lungs to continue breathing while Roman gave him that look, but Deceit couldn’t say that he disliked it all that much.

“I know you said that your stomach hurt just a few minutes ago, but despite that, are you hungry at all? I can heat you up some more soup.” Roman offered, and his voice snapped Deceit’s attention back to him violently from where he had been trying desperately to ignore the soft expression on Roman’s face, not that he had much luck in that particular endeavor. Dee took a few moments to consider how he felt, and when he focused on his stomach, he frowned slightly. 

“I mean, my stomach doesn’t hurt anymore, so that’s good. However, I don’t feel particularly hungry either? Just kinda empty but not in a bad way?” Deceit tried to explain. “I can try to eat a bit more though, but I don’t make any promises. Might as well try to eat and possibly help myself rather than not eat and possibly regret it later.” He shrugged slightly. 

“Wonderful way to look at it!” Roman exclaimed, pleased, as he rolled out of bed and onto his feet. With a quick snap, his clothes straightened back out and looked just as perfect on him as they always did. Dee shook his head slightly to expel the thought as Roman rounded the bed and offered his hand out to him. Hesitantly, Deceit took it, and Roman gently pulled him up to his feet, and led them, hand in hand, down the stairs. 

Deceit realized that they had slept well into the afternoon, and that despite them being gone so long, it seemed as though the other sides hadn’t moved from their positions from breakfast. He knew they must have though; all the dishes had been cleared, the table cleaned, and they had all changed into their normal clothes as opposed to their pajamas and sleep clothes from earlier in the morning. When he and Roman walked into the living room, all conversation ceased as the other sides looked up at the two of them quickly. 

Deceit tensed, and practically ripped his hand from Roman’s as he straightened up and made sure his expression stayed carefully neutral. He had shown them all far too much of himself this morning. Granted, Virgil had already known him before, but that was a long time ago, and even he no longer knew exactly who Deceit was any more. A part of him wanted to keep it that way. Another part wanted to tell him and hoped that the two of them could at least get along in some way again. He didn’t know which side he wanted to win and that thought scared Deceit almost as much as he was now terrified of losing… Roman. 

That thought hit him like a freight train, and he froze the second he had realized he’d had it. Dammit, Deceit, he thought to himself harshly. You went and got attached, even when you said you wouldn’t. Maybe… maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing though? Looking at the other sides as Roman headed off to the kitchen to fetch him some soup, Dee let himself take a deep breath. 

Maybe he could learn to trust again. Maybe he could learn to love again. Maybe he could learn how to be part of a family again.

God, Dee hoped so, especially as his mind helplessly returned to thinking about how Roman had looked at him earlier while they had still been in bed, the one that had made Dee’s heart nearly stop. 

Selfishly and a bit shamelessly, Dee realized he wanted Roman to look at him like that again. 

However, Dee smiled softly to himself, that was still future Deceit’s problem. 

For now, at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you liked this!!! Thank you for reading this far!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'll make a summary later :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this update took forever, but here it is!! Hope you enjoy!!

The silence at the table was practically deafening once Deceit had actually sat down and Roman had joined him with a small bowl of soup. Deceit refused to look up at any of the sides, who he knew were all staring at him. He didn’t appreciate it in the slightest, especially not when he just wanted to eat in peace. With their hard stares trained on him, Deceit could barely stir the soup lightly out of awkwardness, much less actually bring himself to eat it. It was like he had his own audience. He hated the feeling and wished for it to stop immediately. 

“Hey guys, maybe you should all, I don’t know, go do your job for a bit while Dee eats?” Roman finally commented, breaking the silence. Deceit had no idea how Roman had picked up on exactly what he was feeling, but he didn’t mind, especially when one by one the other sides actually got up and slowly headed up the stairs. Finally, when it was just him and Roman, Dee looked up at him with a small, grateful smile. Taking a deep breath, Dee finally allowed himself to relax, and brought the soup up to his face. 

Deceit hummed in satisfaction that, despite being reheated multiple times now, the soup still smelled warm and soft and comforting. The bowl in his hands had also grown pleasantly warm while the soup had sat in the bowl, and Dee shivered in delight when he adjusted his grip on it and his hands remained pleasantly warm even through the gloves he always wore. Finally taking a bite, Dee sighed in appreciation at the soft, gentle taste and how the soup felt smooth and warm and comforting against the back of his throat. Dee had never thought himself a soup person until now. He could eat this soup a million times and still love every bite, he was sure. He made a mental note to ask Patton for the recipe sometime.

Not long after he had finally started eating, the soup was gone. Dee looked down at the empty bowl, almost disappointed, even though he felt pleasantly warm and full already. At least he knew that there would be plenty more, given that Patton looked like he was being serious when he said he’d make Deceit as much as he needed. Deceit truly hoped he had meant that; he hated to admit it but he was already absolutely in love with Patton’s amazing cooking. 

“Feel better?” Roman asked softly as he offered to take the empty bowl from Deceit. His calming voice snapped Dee out of his thoughts as he looked over at the prince, and handed over the bowl when he was prompted to yet again. Dee smiled gently at him as he stood up, preparing to bring the bowl to the kitchen to clean it. 

“Yes, I feel a lot better now. Thank you, Roman.” Dee stated and Roman grinned at him, taking the bowl. Looking over, Deceit noticed that the thick red blanket he had abandoned on the floor earlier was now neatly folded in the spot where he had slept that night. Dee was one hundred percent stealing that blanket as his own now, he decided as he reached for it, unfolding it in the process and wrapping it securely around himself. He smiled when he noticed it was warm and smelled nice. It actually kinda smelled like… well, it smelled like Roman, Dee admitted to himself. He suddenly realized that he _liked_ that it smelled that Roman. 

Deceit scrunched down and hid his face as he felt it get a bit warm at that realization. It didn’t make sense. Sure, Roman was being very nice to him, and Deceit still couldn’t fully understand why, but that was no reason to act like this over a _scent_. Really, it was actually quite frustrating, especially when he felt his face redden more as Roman himself stepped out of the kitchen and gave him one of the softest smiles he’d ever seen, much less received. 

“Are you cold?” Roman questioned softly when he saw Deceit scrunching further down under the blankets. “I can bring you more blankets?” Roman then offered Deceit a wicked smirk. “Or cuddle with you again since you were so keen to do so this morning in your sleep.” Deceit practically choked.

“I’m sorry, I did what?” Deceit asked, a bit of panic bubbling to the surface. If he’d gotten in Roman’s personal space and cuddled with him, he might as well just die right here on the spot. Deceit grumbled unintelligibly at himself and sank all the way into the blankets, leaving nothing of himself visible. He hated that he loved the sound of Roman’s chuckle as a result of that action. 

“Yep, you were snuggled right into my side!” Roman teased lightly. “Not that I mind.” Roman commented, causing Deceit to pop his head back out so fast his neck popped. Roman chuckled lightly at him, and scooted closer, smirking as he leaned over and rested his head on Deceit’s shoulder. Deceit froze and went rigid as he stared down at Roman curiously. 

“Roman?” Deceit questioned hesitantly, not sure what to make of any of this anymore. Roman just tilted his head up to look back at Deceit and grinned. 

“I know I’m warm. You can cuddle me any time you want.” Roman teased lightly again, added in a wink. Deceit’s stomach flipped and he bit his lip. “Really, Dee. I don’t mind it all.” Roman said, serious now that he had seen the worry on Deceit’s face. 

“But-” Deceit tried to argue, but Roman cut him off by sitting up and placing his hands firmly on his shoulders as if to ground him. Dee waited as Roman leveled him with a sincere, steady gaze as he prepared to speak. 

“No buts, Dee. You don’t need to worry about it, and you don’t need to be afraid of me or of it happening again because, hey, free attention for me, yeah?” Roman joked on the last line, but Deceit could still tell that he was serious. “You were comfortable, Dee. That’s what’s important. If you need my presence and warmth to be that comfortable, so be it. I’d provide that to you any day.” Roman smiled at him and Dee couldn’t help but return the sentiment, albeit a little slowly at first. 

“Are we finally gonna talk about what happened this morning?” Virgil’s voice from the bottom of the stairs made Deceit flinch and pull away from Roman hastily, sinking into the blanket again. He wanted to talk to Virgil, especially after the last time they had actually talked with just the two of them face to face, but at the same time, that was the last thing he wanted. He couldn’t make up his mind on how he felt about the Virgil situation at all and it was frustrating. His apparent concern just made all of this more difficult. He almost wished Virgil would go back to being angry and hostile towards him. At least then, it would be easy for Deceit to make up his mind about him. Being good was confusing, and frankly, Deceit thought that it /sucked/; being somewhat of an asshole was so much easier. 

“Well, I know what happened.” Roman stated softly, still looking over at Deceit in confusion after he had pulled away and closed himself off without warning. “However, it’s not my place to share, unless Dee allows me to.” Deceit could feel both of the sides’ eyes on him. He knew he technically owed the others an explanation for what happened at breakfast, but it suddenly felt as if he couldn’t speak. Everytime he opened his mouth to try, his voice died in his throat before he could. 

“I-” He bit his lip harshly. “I don’t… know if I want to say anything yet.” He finally muttered, and pointedly refused to look up when he heard the restless shuffling of feet where Virgil stood. “I don’t know if they would all take it well.” 

“What do you mean, Dee?” Roman asked softly, and Deceit could see him leaning over to try and look at his face, but he just turned it away more. He heard a soft sigh. 

“He means he can’t trust me.” Virgil stated. “I can’t even blame him, honestly.” Deceit only curled up into the blanket more. A lump lodged itself in his throat, and he could only think to choke out a single whispered response. 

“...I’m sorry.” Silence followed for a long moment after his apology, before Virgil grumbled and walked over, sitting on Deceit’s side that wasn’t occupied by Roman, who had been gradually scooting closer. 

“It isn’t you who should apologize. We both know it was me who messed up. I caused this, didn’t I?” Virgil asked softly, making sure to stay a respectable distance away from Deceit. Deceit only shrugged slightly at his words and didn’t look up. 

“Was it though? I thought… I always thought I had done something. If it wasn’t me though, then… Why, Virgil? Why?” Deceit swallowed hard to clear the lump in his throat as he mumbled his response. “Do I even want to hear it?” Deceit saw from the corner of his eye that Virgil looked down, and his shoulders slumped. 

“Probably not.” He admitted quietly. “It was dumb and I messed up. I see that now. I’m sorry, Deceit.” Deceit could tell from the way Virgil used his full name and not the nickname Roman had given him that he was being serious. He didn’t know how to feel about that. Virgil had been his closest friend once, the only one of the dark sides he had trusted. They had promised each other they’d never leave, that they would protect each other no matter what. Yet, when the time came, Virgil had walked out on him without another word, and the next time he had seen him, Virgil had treated him like the bane of his existence. 

Deceit knew he had a hard time trusting people. He always had. Virgil and Remus, however, had managed to break his walls down little by little. When Virgil left like that, Deceit knew he had changed instantly. Almost instantly, he felt all his walls go back up. He had even shut Remus out for months, and they still didn’t get along like they had. He had gotten more distant, and got used to putting up a mask of sarcasm and bravado, falling into his role as a dark side willingly. 

Virgil had hurt him. Now here he was, apologizing. Acting like the Virgil he knew and loved again. It fucked with Deceit’s head and he didn’t like it. 

“I don’t think sorry can fix what you did to me.” Deceit muttered, and he saw Virgil tense, “However, it’s a start. Just… don’t expect me to be best friends with you, or anyone else, at the drop of a hat.” Deceit bit the inside of his cheek. He hated this. Things were so much easier when he could just shrug them all off with a snide remark and return to his room without caring overly much what happened after. 

“Okay. I guess… that’s fair.” Virgil sighed softly and tucked his knees up under his chin, and wrapped his arms around his legs. “Is there anything I can do for you? Anything I can do to make this right?” 

“No.” Deceit admitted. “It will just take time, I guess.” Deceit finally looked up, and caught a glance of a very confused and concerned Roman, but looked over at Virgil, who was curled up and had his mouth twisted in a thoughtful frown. 

“Okay.” Virgil eventually said, looking up at Deceit. Deceit swallowed hard and bit his lip. He didn’t know how this was going to end and it scared him. 

“Well, whatever the history between you two,” Roman started as he leaned over and pointedly placed his head on Deceit’s shoulder. “I’m glad you seemed to have started working it out. Though, you guys are vague as fuck and it’s annoying.” Dee smirked at Roman’s comment and relaxed at his close presence. 

Dee looked up as he heard footsteps on the stairs again, and saw Patton freeze at the bottom when he saw Roman leaning on his shoulder. Deceit stiffened at the reaction and shifted uncomfortably, moving away from Roman. It took everything Deceit had to ignore Roman’s confused and hurt expression as he watched Patton frown, but inevitably relax. Morphing his face into a grin though, Patton walked right into the living room, plopping himself down next to Roman, and as far away from Deceit as he could be at the moment. Deceit really tried not to take it personally. 

“What’s up, kiddos? Everything all good now?” Patton asked cheerfully, ignoring the tense mood hanging over the group. Virgil cleared his throat awkwardly and shrugged, but waved at Patton anyways. Roman grinned at Patton brightly. 

“Well maybe not all good, but getting there! Dee is here, he’s eaten, he’s bundled up in a warm blanket, so I’d say everything that is super important is taken care of!” Roman smiled, looking back at Deceit with a gaze that politely asked if he was correct. Deceit shrugged slightly. It didn’t take a genius to see Patton was still unsure about this arrangement, which Deceit supposed he could understand. After all, he had impersonated him that one time, he’d caused him distress with the court trial, and he was basically the exact opposite of the function that Patton fulfilled. Of course it would take Patton time to accept this arrangement. That didn’t make Deceit feel any better, though. It’s not like he had planned this any more than Patton had. However, Deceit decided that he could try. Try and make this easier. So with much hesitation and uncomfortable shifting, he finally sighed and looked directly at the moral side. 

“Patton. I would like to thank you.” Deceit paused as Patton looked over at him with surprise written all over his face. Deceit could also feel the eyes of Virgil on him from behind, and saw Roman looking at him in confused interest while he tried to lean back against the couch so Deceit could see Patton more clearly. 

“You have been very kind. You made the soup for me so I can feel better, and I appreciate that. Also, speaking of, that soup? It’s really good, so, uh, double thanks?” Deceit finished, and cleared his throat uncomfortably. That went well, he grumbled to himself and looked back down at his lap, only to be taken by surprise when Patton was suddenly kneeling down in front of him. 

“Can I hug you? I’m sorry but that was the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me and I-” Patton cut himself off when Deceit gave a small nod and opened his arms hesitantly, and then they were hugging. Patton seemed overjoyed at the action, but Deceit felt very uncomfortable. Patton’s hugs were so much different from Roman’s and it took him by surprise. He didn’t know how to feel when it seemed like Patton was so happy to actually be hugging Deceit. 

“Don’t take this the wrong way Patton, but… I thought you didn’t like me?” Deceit asked softly and Patton released him so he could back up and look at Deceit with a frown. 

“Well, granted, I didn’t really before. And I’m still unsure about you. But that’s because… I don’t agree with lying. Lying is wrong, and I can’t just ignore that lying is your main function. Not to mention that you’ve caused my family distress in the past and I can’t just forget that! But… I can see that you’re making an effort. So, I will too.” Patton admitted sheepishly. 

For a few moments, Deceit could only stare. He hadn’t expected Patton to just be that up front with him, or to say that he would try too. It took him completely by surprise. Patton’s face fell as Dee hesitated, and that’s what snapped him out of it. 

“Oh, uh, that makes sense. Thank you for being upfront about it, at least. If… if it means anything now, even though it’s probably far too late for this, I am sorry for causing you all distress, especially at the trial.” He looks down and buries his face in the blankets, muffling his next words a bit. “At the trial… I had already been kicked out. I was hungry and cold and I may have keyed it up a bit unnecessarily.” 

“Oh, Dee, it’s never too late to apologize. I appreciate it a bunch. The trial is forgiven, and… I understand. No one is very pleasant when they don’t feel good! Even I can be a bit grouchy when I’m hungry or sick. Don’t worry about it. We are all here for you now.” Patton replied after a moment of contemplation. Dee hesitantly looked back up at him. 

“Dee?” Virgil’s voice called him, hesitant and soft. Deceit looked over at him cautiously, and he knew his expression had become guarded even before the hesitancy on Virgil’s face multiplied. Virgil chewed on his lip anxiously for a minute before sighing. He brought his knees up to his chin again and looked at the ground as he spoke. 

“I’m sorry I gave you a promise I couldn’t keep. I’m sorry I abandoned you. I’m sorry for being a jerk to you when you hadn’t done anything to deserve it. I’m sorry I never explained things to you.” Virgil bit his lip and swallowed hard. “Most of all, I’m sorry that I hurt you when you needed me the most.” 

Deceit fixed his gaze to the ground. He didn’t want to be here. He didn’t want the other sides, didn’t want Roman, to hear all of this. Didn’t want them to piece together his and Virgil’s history, especially with how messy it was and how it had ended. He especially didn’t want to admit that Logan, who he heard coming down the stairs, had probably heard every word, and he was the most likely to figure things out. 

“Roman?” He heard Logan’s calm voice. “Do you mind taking Dee back up? He should get more rest. I doubt he wants to handle this right now; he’s still likely exhausted from recent events.” 

“Yeah, okay.” Roman agrees softly, before standing up and walking in front of Deceit. He quietly offers a hand to him, but Deceit chooses to ignore it this time and stands up, walking past Roman and up the stairs. He could hear Roman trailing behind him, and could almost feel him itching to ask questions, but he seemed to settle on respecting Deceit’s space for now. 

When they finally got back to Roman’s room, Deceit sat on the very edge at the foot of his bed, taking up as little space as possible. Roman sat at his desk chair and faced Deceit, watching him carefully. Deceit could see the way he wrung his hands and bit at his lip nervously. He knew he’d ask sooner or later.

“Dee?” Roman asked softly. “Are you okay? What uh… what happened between you and Virgil?” 

Despite knowing it was coming, it didn’t make the question any easier for him. Deceit looked up at Roman, and saw worry, curiosity, and a certain caring softness that made Dee’s stomach hurt and tears prick at his eyes. He had to turn away quickly, and swallowed hard. He didn’t want Roman to know, but he didn’t have the energy to tell him no right now, and before Deceit even knew it, the words were spilling out of his mouth like a waterfall and he couldn’t stop it now even if he tried. 

“Um, well. Me and Virgil used to be friends, way before he joined you guys. In fact, I uh, I liked him. He didn’t feel the same, and when I finally told him, it ended up straining our relationship. I don’t think he knew how to handle someone being attracted to him. So he didn’t. He lashed out. We started fighting, often. The worst fight we had, uhm, I had gone to him when I wasn’t doing so great. It spiralled out of control, and we both did things that we regretted and are best left forgotten.” Deceit fidgets uncomfortably, and wished this wasn’t as difficult as it was. He hated the heavy feeling on his chest as he spoke, almost like someone was sitting on it and trying to prevent him from speaking. 

“We somehow made up, and things were… more normal for a bit. We could talk without fighting again, at least. It was… a slice of normalcy and I had craved that for so long, I just latched onto it. Soon after though, he just straight up and vanished without a trace, and I found out that uh, he left. He didn’t say anything. I didn’t even know that he had been hanging out with you all as Anxiety for months before he left. Remus is the one one who told me where he was, and only because I was... spiralling out of control trying to find him, thinking he was hurt or in danger, or some other terrible thing, but... he was here, the last place I would have thought he would ever be. I’m pretty sure Remus regrets telling me now, I kind of shut him out after that.” Deceit admits. “I regret that. Remus had already lost Virgil. Then I shut him out. Now I’m here too. Even if it was because I was cast out, he’s probably upset right now.” Deceit looked at the floor, the feeling of guilt and regret was crushing, and not something he was used to allowing himself to feel. 

“Okay, so, few questions.” Roman’s voice was strained and colored with confusion. “You liked Virgil? The spooky, broody, angry Virgil no less? Okay, weird.” Roman shook his head with a light smile. “I know you said it’s better left forgotten, but what did you guys do that was so bad you won’t even talk about it?” Roman asked, the unmasked concern in his voice hitting Dee like a freight train. “Did he really play with your head like that, acting like everything was fine and then abandoning you? Rude,” Roman rolled his eyes, “but oh so believable for Virgil then. I can’t imagine him pulling a stunt like that now, though. Also, you were both friends with my brother? Trash gremlin Remus?” Roman’s voice held extreme doubt and surprise, and his eyebrows were raised dramatically with his skepticism. Dee couldn’t help but smile.

“Yeah, I liked the angry Virgil.” Dee chuckled. “Gotta admit, it’s kinda weird interacting with him now when he’s more subdued and… quiet. Especially after everything that’s happened, I honestly… have no idea how to feel about him… or how to trust him again.” Dee bit his lip. “What happened between me and Virgil though, during that fight? That stays between me and Virgil. I’m sorry, but I refuse to bring those things back up when they are better where they are, buried in the past.” Dee finally looked back over at Roman who had a myriad of emotions written across his face. He sighed and looked at Roman as he continued again slowly, answering Roman’s questions.

“He left without a single word. There one day, gone the next, along with everything he owned, even his room was gone. It was like he had vanished out of thin air.” Dee shrugged, then smiled softly. “Remus was our best friend. He was the reason we were all friends in the first place. He’s not mean or malicious like the rest of the dark sides. He doesn’t want to hurt Thomas or see him suffer. He’s just… a bit out there. When you don’t fit in, when you aren’t like the rest of your group, you get pushed out, unless you can assimilate. Remus did that by dragging me and Virgil along until we eventually just became a group of our own. It worked well, probably because none of us are actively trying to hurt Thomas. We’re all just doing our jobs. Remus took to that in me and Virgil, and that was all that was needed.” Dee sighed softly, it was nice remembering when the three of them got along, rather than their confusing and messy relationship now. Dee almost wished he could go back, but he also didn’t, because that would mean Roman would be his self-declared enemy again, and he very much preferred being… whatever this was instead. 

“Does… does my brother actually hate me?” Roman suddenly asked, quick and sharp, brows pinched with concern. “It’s not like I wanted the split. Even after, I didn’t want Remus to leave. We used to be one all encompassing side and it hurt me too when the split happened. I couldn’t control it any more than he could. He acts like he hates me… but does he really?” 

“I don’t think so. I think he’s bitter that he was deemed evil and you were deemed good just because he controls a different type of creativity than you do. I think he’s jealous of you. I just don't think he knows that’s how he feels, just that he feels bad about what happened, so he takes it out on you. There have been plenty of times though, when he has told me he misses you and that the split damaged him a lot too. You’re still his brother, Roman. The only one he has. He just doesn’t see you as an ally. How you can change that, I don’t know, but I think you should try.” 

Roman stared at Dee hopefully, and he quickly brightened and nodded. With a big grin he got up, and pulled Dee to his feet too spinning him in a circle out of pure delight. When he was done he stared at Dee with such softness that Dee could feel his knees shake as they turned to jelly. A small part of him whispered that this was all future Dee’s stuff to sort through, and some other part whispered that he was future Dee, and he’d been saying that for too long. 

“You are a genius Dee! I will. I will try to talk to Remus. He’s my only brother too. Despite everything that has and will happen, knowing him, I do still care about him greatly. Thank you, Dee. You’re amazing.” Roman’s eyes shined with happiness, and he smiled so softly at Dee. 

Dee’s stomach felt fluttery as he nodded with a small smile. He could feel the heat on the back of his neck, and had to force it not to spread to his face and make him go cherry red. Dee knew this feeling. It was different this time, but so, so achingly familiar. He couldn’t tell himself otherwise, especially not as Roman still had his arms wrapped around him from the spin. 

Deceit was hopelessly in love with Roman. Dee could feel his face morph into a soft smile at that revelation, and Roman quickly mirrored it, making his stomach flip all the more. 

‘I’m okay with this,’ Dee thought, as he pulled Roman into a hug, ignoring him when he made a questioning sound so that he could just enjoy his revelation. 

‘I’m in love with Roman.’ His thoughts whispered giddily in his ear once more.

He could only hope this time he would be loved back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been sitting in docs so long and I still hate parts of it but it has been forever since I updated so just, here. I can't keep looking at this chapter anymore lmao 
> 
> I sincerely hope you enjoyed it anyways!!!
> 
> Also, as a quick reminder: to follow my progress and get updates a little sooner, follow my tumblr @luna-teller!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this!!! Thank you so much for reading this far!


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